HOW do you name a child lost at 12-16 weeks? So the family you dislike or hate may be the same people, but more appealing to you. I think thats the hardest part for me. Will miscarried or aborted children go to heaven? quoted in the answer to question number . Instead, they keep asking for prayers about their houses looking like a war zone from the packing. Is there a ceremony with a pastor? There were a few who also said the wrong things, but I knew they were trying to help. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Theres something about once a mama conceives, she never forgets. I am trying to keep my faith and it is hard. that pregnancy through birth was great with no complications at all. I eventually shared with them how God had used them in our lives and thanked them for their kindness. Some scholars are of the opinion that they will all -- old The pain never goes away, but it does get easier. One moment you think you will come home with a wonderful baby and have all your hopes and dreams, and the next, everything you ever imagined your life would be is torn from you, and you are never the same. And whoever believes in Allah He will guide his heart. The pain lets up after a while but I find myself in a lot of pain again as we approach her birthday. To have the vast majority of the people in my life say nothing to me on Mothers day made an already unbearable day nearly unsurvivable. I get more support from FB miscarriage groups than my own friends. Probably a third of it. As much as I want him here with me, it is so so much better up there. Thank you for what you do. They hug you through your pain, contact you just to see how youre doing, and love you with the love of Christ. A lot of people asked my husband how I was doing, but never contacted me. A lot of relating our story is dependant on timing and the person. Remember days like October 15 Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I lost my 3rd and 4th babies to miscarriage. I had a healthy daughter, so when I got pregnant again 5 years later I didnt have any reason to think anything would go wrong. Admit your parents to Paradise. So he will drag them with his umbilical cord and admit them into Jannah. I went for my 12 week ultrasound and the baby was dead. Facebook really means brag book to some people. Unfortunately I found that people were more sympathetic when I lost my 22 year old than when I only miscarried. Heres the thing yes, we kept trying and yes we got pregnant again. A woman who miscarried was fined by the NHS for claiming a free prescription while pregnant. I have to really think about it to recall their names sometimes. I have 4 precious children, 3 here with me and one with wings. I was prepared for another loss. I want to close with a poem I love. 71175. HadithAnswers.com is a site that seeks to serve the Muslim World by attending to queries that pertain to the Noble Traditions of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). I know our lives never turn out like we can imagine, but my prayer is that He will help you to see some beauty in yours. I was also unable to read and still have trouble sometimes 7 years later. See also the answer to question number I am amazed at the different responses I actually get. And their lives were marred with sin. Take her family meals. And all of the older generation told us Oh, youre young; youll get pregnant again. What made it even more difficult is our niece was born not even a week before our child was born into heaven into a family that is not married or living for the Lord. My husband and I cared for her three girls and wondered how we would answer the questions like: Why did God want our baby in Heaven?. I am so sorry your friends are not being very sympathetic to you. And the first part of dealing with it is to accept that. The second session I ever did was for my best friend we were both pregnant with our only baby girls. I am so, so sorry for your extreme loss. Yes, you are the mother of 4! In fact, I was surprised by how many people I knew came out of the woodwork and talked to me about their miscarriages, when I didnt even know they ever had one. But it is also said that those unborn babies must have attained the age of 4 months Fast forward 3 years later. He treated that, but I got pregnant a month before he advised. I keep my faith and move on and we were with child 12 weeks later. I did a series about miscarriage on my blog and included a post about how friends and family can help. I watched everything I did But when I know that they cant know anything about it, it just irritates me and makes me feel misunderstood. I am expecting our third child this June. I didnt even want to be with him, I dont do drugs. Why hadnt I heard of the statistics before of the actual number of miscarriages that happened? And God MOVED our baby into my womb! Bring a book. But here are things that are meaningful to me. Blessings. Well, when they went to do the ultrasound they couldnt find a heartbeat. I dont think I could have done all that immediately but over the years as I come in contact with them its helped them and me both. My two little babies, gone before I even knew they were there. We knew he wouldnt live long, but didnt anticipate he would pass during delivery. All my life Ive been around several other mothers and fathers who have suffered through miscarriages or stillbirth, so the topic is not new to me even though I was well aware that I had no clue what any of them were going through. My youngest niece lost her son Keaton 7 years when she was at 8 months due HEELP syndrome. Though accepting Allahs decision may bring you solace, your pain and grief may still feel unbearable! with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: The people of Paradise will enter Paradise hairless, I feel like you expressed exactly what is in my heart, but I could never form into words. I miss the baby who would have been but I know he is kickin it with Jesus and what more could a mother ask for? One here on earth and one born into heaven. The bloody water was worse than any bloody scene you see in the horror movie, it was my reality. Id try to explain to my friends and family my anxiety and that I was scared and worried, their response? When one of us goes before the other, who will console the one who is left? There were a small handful of people who had walked that road before me, but most had no idea what I was going through, much less how to react, what to say or do. Exclusive Duas, Islamic Reminders and News! My sweet baby, Tzeitel, my only child, went to Heaven at 8 weeks gestation, June 7, 2012. My daughter began spotting that night. I remember the day she told me it was strange to her that she hadnt felt the baby move. I am so sorry people didnt acknowledge it. I got pregnant again not long afterward, so even though NOTHING could replace my love for my lost baby, my spiritual and emotional healing seemed faster and easier as well. I was very confused and mentioned again that I had a baby last year. They said that she had just died according to the scan. I pray the Lord sends you that friend to help you in this time of need!!! Loosing a child is difficult at 3 weeks is hard enough. I answered your question over on the FB page, and just wanted to thank you for touching on a topic that only recently has been addressed instead of being taboo. I am mama to two boys, one here on this earth and one in heaven. I didnt get invited to wedding or baby showers; I wasnt approached to be a babysitter even though I was the only one who could do it at the time and the list goes on. She is also an author of English textbooks, based on the teachings of the Quran (currently under editing), and creative director of a Tafseer app for kids (soon to be launched InshaAllah). It took us 3 more years to get pregnant again. Of course not. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group.