Albert: [Being offered a pot cookie by Anna] The last time somebody gave me one of these, I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. There is a post-credits sequence involving the gunman at the fair from the final scene. Check out the interactive photo below for more details on the scene. Nov 20, 2014. R. 1h 56m. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. Enter Anna, played by Charlize Theron, a regular Annie Oakley who takes a shine to Albert and wants to show him how to cock his pistol. It starts from a clever brain that ceased emotional development at age 12 and winds its way through to the orifice that emits the rudest noises and effluence. Halle Bailey, Melissa McCarthy, and director Rob Marshall share the tale behind making their underwater musical with a groundbreaking Disney princess. Wandered in there, and then when I went to pick it up, somehow it had made 20 dollars. . Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. Anna: Especially a smoking hot girl. 2014 Universal Studios. Albert: Oh. A Million Ways to Die in the West - Goodreads MacFarlane deserve some credit for allowing Theron to upstage him, sometimes just with a knowing look. His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. Albert: Hey, sorry I killed your husband. A Million Ways to Die in the West - Wikipedia Albert: Oh. [Albert notices a glow from inside a building and peeks inside], [It is Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" working on the DeLorean, which is under a tarp; Doc notices Albert and covers up the car]. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. She is now with a dapper, successful, extroverted store owner, Foy, a fact Foy keeps reminding him of. Seth MacFarlane and Charlize Theron A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. At least stay through the weekend. A Million Ways to Die in the West | Fandango Albert: You know what else can kill you? Yet hes afraid to stray from knuckle-dragging comedy, being obsessed with jokes about farts, diarrhea and genitals that splat more often than they zing. Albert: [At target practice] I fired a gun at the shooting gallery. Basically, if it's not you, it wants to kill you, and just might succeed. A Million Ways to Die in the West. McNeely bases his playful and robust score on classic silver screen-era Westerns, offering up a pastiche that's both reverent and self-aware, while the theme song, which is performed by Alan Jackson, and "If You've Only Got a Mustache," the latter of which is performed by Grammy-nominated American tenor Amick Byram, are as goofy as they are . The movies best lines are typically one-liners that rarely come from the lips of MacFarlane, who frequently oversells a joke when he isnt merely spouting obscenities. It's Me, Margaret. The film received mixed reviews from critics, with criticism directed toward the film's length and MacFarlane's performance. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! Given his knack for singing the guy truly is multi-talented MacFarlane might have done better with following the musical comedy example of Paint Your Wagon rather than the slapstick of Mel Brooks for his western swing. Hell, this was Miss America in 1880 [picture of a leathery middle-aged woman] . And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. Quotes.net. Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 4:18 . All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. 17+. I suck at dancing. A Million Ways to Die in the West Review - IGN If you do not yet have a Torstar account, you can create one now (it is free), Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited. 18 Songs, 41 minutes I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. He got . Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly . When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. I suck at sheep. presentation-ready copies of Toronto Star content for distribution For example, if you drain a certain amount of venom from the fangs of a diamondback rattler into a hollow-tip bullet, you really only need one shot. See production, box office & company info. If You've Only Got a Moustache. One father scolded his young son, "Take your hat off! You know, like snakes. All A Million Ways to Die in the West Videos A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1 2:30 Added: January 19, 2017 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die 2:24 Added . For a few chuckles more. Albert: I know. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . Opens Friday at major theatres 14A. After Albert backs out of a gunfight, his fickle girlfriend leaves him for another man. Support. Old Stump Bluegrass. Comedy 2014 1 hr 55 min. That's a dollar bill!". Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Overly crude jokes and gross-out humor drag comedy down. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. Opens Friday at major . And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! No better way to make your ex-girlfriend want you back more than to let her see you with another girl. Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds. Depressed and discouraged by how his life is full of disappointment and how every instance of love is then destroyed and robbed from him, Albert finds comfort in Anna (Charlize Theron), a newcomer to his small village. When a sheep herder who hates the West saves a young lady . WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! I never see him. This is the curious thing about MacFarlane. 2014 | Maturity rating: 16+ | 1h 55m | Comedies. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - He Drank the Whole Bowl! But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? R. Doc Brown: Nothing. One Cameo In A Million Ways To Die In The West Was Even A Surprise To this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. We Should All Just Wear Coffins As Clothes, Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Bernard Herrmann: The Twilight Zone Conducted By Joel McNeely (Music From Television Series), Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire (Original Soundtrack), X-Men: Days of Future Past - Rogue Cut (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Extended Version], The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), 007: Casino Royale (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Version]. A Million Ways to Die in the West - Goodreads By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Anna: Oh, thank God, 'cause I was like ah [mimics gun to her head] , kill me. Star Newspapers Limited and/or its licensors. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Anna: I'm a little cocky. Seth MacFarlane writes, directs and stars in this Western about a sheep farmer who falls in love with an outlaw's wife. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. Narrator: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. Anyone can read Conversations, but to contribute, you should be a registered Torstar account holder. It just makes it that much funnier. It stunts their attention span. Your sheep are everywhere. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - That's a Dollar Bill! Louise: [flustered] They're not that big. Review: Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West Privacy Policy Copyright Fandango. I'm about to shoot a full load at your cans. Millie: You're okay with your girlfriend screwing, like, 15 different guys every day and getting paid to do it? All Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Anna and Albert. All rights reserved. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . However, when the infamous West outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) arrives in town, Albert realizes that he has just intruded on Clinch and Anna's husband-and-wife relationship, and Clinch is hungry for retribution. Edward: Albert, he's dead. Albert: My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. MacFarlane's 'Million Ways To Die In The West' Is An Assault Of - NPR A Million Ways to Die in the West rides into theaters . As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been.. RELATED: 10 Funniest Quotes From Ted While A Million Ways to Die in the West was nowhere . Link to Are You There God? - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. Comedy, Romance, Western. Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Conversations are opinions of our readers and are subject to the, The Toronto Star and thestar.com, each property of Toronto Star 1 May 2023. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot".