Last night, I fell asleep early. Submit your questions and comments here before or during the discussion. (Do you? Send me updates about Slate special offers. Oh hell no. Q. He was open and honest and offered for you to check his phone. She could be still be coming because she's interested in my husbandI would love to know what her husband thinks of driving 45 minutes away to see a HS football game, and what reason she gave. Or is this a major red flag? An emotional connection can develop very easily, especially in a work environment, and can be disguised and misinterpreted as being friendly,> not forming an intimate connection, which is what it often really becomes. Im not saying your husband is guilty of anything, but I think your concerns are 100% valid and I would be worried too. Your husband may be being over-friendly to them in order to help them feel welcome at the company.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'fatherresource_org-box-4','ezslot_2',109,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-fatherresource_org-box-4-0'); In such cases, your husband could simply be being a good person. :). I ran into them at the mall and theyre married now with a kids and I was with my husband and two kids and she was still a *** to me. If you want to offer the option of going in a group gift (lets say youre worried about offending someone by implying youre expecting them to shell out hundreds of dollars they may not have), you certainly can; you might also consider opening a housewarming registry and sending the link over to anyone who inquires. My husband is also a high school football coach in the community we will live in (and graduated HS from). Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Join the live chat Mondays at noon. Does being too friendly include your husband: Related Reading: Husband Goes Out Every Weekend Without Me. But she does not have visa to move to Canada, she is 56 years old he is 49, so I think he is misusing her to abuse me emotionally. Thirdly, what does too friendly mean to you? Im on your husbands side on this. I ended up talking to him last night as calm as I could be and told him everything I noticed and how uncomfortable it made me. Now I'm on red alert. Why doesn't she go to a game where her son graduated HS? I THINK MY HUSBAND IS TOO FRIENDLY WITH A COWORKER By Dr. Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC You tell your husband you think he's too friendly with a coworker. I found texts exchanges and deleted texts from the both of them. Husband is too friendly with coworker - Relationships | Forums | What The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Q. I cannot convince him to see a therapist. Discuss this column with Dear Prudence on his Facebook page! Is My Husband Being Too Friendly Dangerous For Our Marriage? You tell your husband you think hes too friendly with a coworker. If he pushes you aside, he probably doesn't want you to either interfere in his conversation or know what he is saying to the woman. I feel hurt, and extremely disrespected. Right now. Please advice me how to change his abusive behaviour? My husband is prioritizing his "innocent" friendship with a woman over But the police force specifically asked about this and they need to know his views. You didnt answer questions you werent asked. They work in technology. Very disrespectful. Equally, if they don't follow each other on social media, then this . (This will be a long post and I apologize for that)Thank you for those that take the time to read it.Okay, so I need to know if Im overreacting.My husband decided to sign himself up to take a business trip for his work where he will be staying Update:Thank you to all the ladies here for the replies. That's what they do. I miss him very much but as a good husband. When youre having the conversation, be sure to do the following:if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'fatherresource_org-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_4',111,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-fatherresource_org-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Because this is a coworker were talking about and not a friend or family member, oftentimes, your husband will not be able to remove them from his life completely. He is having an emotional affair. I have tried saying, Oh we arent in contact or we havent spoken in years but many still press on with further questions. He is not a bad person. - Lillianna. Hey, I think I might like to go out some night this week. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. 2023 Guy Stuff Counseling & Coaching - A Professional Corporation of Marriage and Family Therapy, All Rights Reserved. Use of this website is governed by the Terms and Conditions, Disclaimer and Privacy Policies you can access via links in the top menu. I think my husband's female coworker is getting too friendly Husband telling coworker we are separated when we arent. A: Sure, if a lot of your friends are asking about buying you presents, theres no reason not to answer their questions. So, yes, a husband being too friendly with a coworker is a risk and problem for your marriage. Do you have any recommendations? If her messages do turn into something more than friendly, I hope your husband brings it to your attention, and ends the friendship outside of work. Lilliannas situation gives an example of how far a friendly coworker relationship can go. 5 years ago she divorced and he started an affair with her but I was not sure because he was telling me that she is only his friend and he is only emotionally friendly dependent on her. A: I totally agree about securing your financial information and monitoring your credit; I hope that you never have to use those tools but I think its right to prepare for the worst. He said, I don't know. 2023 But it sounds like she had forgotten his transphobic comments until she was confronted with that specific question about LGBTQ people, and at that point her options were really limited. Both me and my husband have mixed gender colleagues and we have in jokes with all of them. 3 years ago he moved to Canada (me and my kids came one year ago, he sponsored me to get my Permanent resident visa), and she still lives in our home country. Me and my husband have to work with people all over the place, we are sometimes unable to work with people in just one physical space. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. If the overfriendliness is serious, and the coworker has acted inappropriately towards your husband, he should consider reporting the matter to his HR department and let them handle it. Please try again. This is the 3rd strike. Don't Push the Boss-Employee Relationship GIF courtesy of GIPHY I'm going to get real for a second: No matter how much you and your manager have in common, and how much fun you have together, he or she is still your boss. To figure out what too friendly means, there are three lines of thinking you should follow. We have a really good relationship and we hardly ever have really big arguments. He knows hes not prioritizing you. As proud as you are of your kid, I can understand why you dont necessarily want to bring up the nature of your fathers arrest without checking in with your kid first (especially with co-workers, or with people whove already demonstrated they have trouble taking a hint about asking unwelcome questions). However, ask before you assume. Because I'm not sure if my hormones are overreacting. The risks are just too big. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. Before we dive right in, its important to understand what too friendly means and why this may be an issue for you. I guess you could just call it intuition, but it didnt sit right with me. We fought about it, and I clearly expressed how disrespected I felt AGAIN with the same woman. I would actually be calling this lady & tell her to talk with someone else, not my husband. The Rules of Being Friends With Your Co-workers | The Muse Do this before you tell them the final time, and honestly I would store my documents in a secure place not on your property as well. [6] This is a huge indication that they're flirting with you, not just being friendly. guess who he found himself talking to more and more? All contents Following or stalking a partner to confirm their whereabouts. That would tell alot. Q. Threes a crowd: My husband and I have been together for about seven years. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. His coworker might be his work wife, but youre his actual wife, and that holds much more weight. Although you may be worried about your husband's work relationship becoming something more, if your husband doesn't contact his female colleague outside of work, then it's likely that there's nothing more going on between them. IF something is going on then he is REALLY good at knowing exactly what you need/want to hear to help ease your mind! I'm appalled I would even say that as I'm very much in love and attracted to my husband. I am honestly not super confident that you will be able to resist them if you are seen to be preparing to move out of the house I would try to pack my things slowly on my way out and move a little at a time or entirely move while they were out of the house at some point after the date I promised to move out if I were you. I Think My Husband Is Too Friendly With A Coworker, friendly behavior can entail a lot of things, found the need to formulate secret friendships with women, he did ask her where was the most risky place she had sex. But heres the fine print: anything that makes you, his spouse, feel uncomfortable warrants a conversation. Worried About My Husband's Friendship With A Coworker I cant sleep or rest if im annoyed and wound up at something and i know it helps me to vent at people who understand. If he hadnt been weird about it by initially being secretive , agreeing it was disrespectful and to cease the relationship then I would say you were overacting . The issue is, an old friend of my husbands has reentered the picture and she is really throwing a wrench in things. My husband had a friendship with his married female coworker that made me feel uncomfortable. You cant help if other women are interested in him but its how he deals with the situation that matters. Page not found Instagram We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. All his responses were great and how he reacted to your feelings when you brought it up was good too. He was quite upset that I would even have those thoughts, and was really concerned that I felt that way and comforted me. I have told him I love him very much. Its not like were having sex or anything.. Sign up for credit monitoring and use it religiously. So not okay. Beyond that, it sounds like you and Nancy still get along well, so its definitely a point in all of your favors that she and June arent celebrating their newfound closeness by pointedly excluding you. I think this is incredibly bizarre, especially if you dont know the couple personally. He says you're insecure and trying to control him. Do you offer sliding fee scale counseling services? Pretty regularly a wife tells me she thinks her husband is too friendly with a coworker. You know your husband best. Done in secret or seclusion (Texting, WhatsApp. Theres nothing wrong with being friendly, such as saying hi to someone, holding a door open, or showing some interest in them. Q. But even if you disagree, and you think he has some inalienable right to become a police officer that Ive somehow squashed, whats done is done, and theres no point continuing to discuss it.. To me you disrespected him by going through his phone and you didnt even really find anything incriminating. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. I would say, yes, hes now cheating. I mean it sounds like hes having at the least an emotional affair and probably didnt ever quit talking to her to begin with. Every once in a while, ask them if theyd like to make dinner together or have a movie night at home so theyre not the only ones scheduling activities. I didn't freak out or fly off the handle, but I looked at him with a face and asked, Why? If you felt you didnt want to be put in that position, you could have gone back to him, apologized, and explained that you didnt realize how in-depth the reference would be and that you dont know him well enough to provide a reference. When I brought it to his attention he continuously lied and eventually came clean that he dissprecpected me by texting her, and still maintained that they only have innocent conversations.